I Cant Complain .

I am who I fucking am.
You cant change me.
Shes a flirt, You like her and I like a fucking player.
stupid fucking dicks ._."
Im confused ,
But im glad to say i'm over you.
Dont think I hate you , I could never hate you & " Hate" is a strong word,
I'd like to use dislike.
I dont know what I will do once I see you.
Acting like strangers kills ,
soo thats why i'm transferring :) .
Goooooooooodbye Danforth.
Gooodbye house .
Goodbye everyone.
New place, Fresh start.
Goodbye Everything, Hello nothing.

Here we go again.

WOOOOW .
Fucking dicks these days .
I'm sorry for being fucking blind.
I was better off not fucking knowing .
But thanks for telling me.
Stop walking out of my life .
You're off traveling the world with your parents..
Thanks for telling me the last second.
Thanks.
Despite the fact that you told me last minute , I'll still care about you.
I've known you since I was 10, You were there by my side ,
Now that you've gone with your family... :/
I dont know what to do ,
It feels like loosing a friend forever ,
You were the one who stopped me from doing stupid things.
I'm not going to cry ,
I'll smile because it happened.

.

I'm tired of crying myself to sleep,
My eyes are waaay to puffy.
I just told everyone else I fell outta bed and hit my eyes on something.
I wish you saw the sadness in my eyes while everyone else see's a smile on my face.
99% you got over me,
but there is still a 1% chance you're still into me.
its one in a million chance but it still could happen,
more than half of my friends are NOT my friends till this day,
Because they didnt deserve to make it into my future,.
the past is the past,

What if " Forever " Is not enough?

I cant sleep.
Why the fuck do I still care about you?.
I keep re-reading our messages.
Why cant I get over you so quickly like you did to me?
People need to stop saying sorry ,
Some people just need to put their money where their mouth is.
I thought summer 2010 would be a summer to remember, I guess not.
I never thought you actually meant this goodbye.
I've had days where I feel I could conquer the world,
But now.. I'd be lucky if I even have a smile,
I'm feeling out of place.

What do I have to do? Cause I'll do anything
To prove myself to you , you mean everything
I'm sorry for disappointing you
I'm still in love with you
And now we can't go back cause I'll do anything
I'm feeling so afraid, can feelings go away?
I tried to fly, but my feet never left the ground
Tell myself that it's alright
But it's not enough,
I tell myself its alright but its not enough,
You have no idea I still love you.
It's pretty clear you're a chance worth taking
If only you saw me, You'll see its killing me.
I wonder if you'll ever return.
I miss how I talked to you everyday.
Its more like once a month now.
I wish you cared enough to say that i'm dumb & we shouldnt go back to being strangers.
If only you knew how I am right now.
Tell me to my face i'm not perfect,
Tell me i'm a mistake.
Tell me everything I dont need to hear.
I hate how I see lovely happy couples walking around everywhere,
I feel like i'm useless to everyone.
I feel like no one likes me for who I am, I'm sorry i'm not perfect
I'm sorry i'm not beautiful , I'm sorry for all the trouble i've caused.
I'll do what I have to do .
The stupid things I do, Is only for you .
To prove myself I can do it.
I miss your fingers in between mine,
I miss your hugs, kisses
I miss resting my head on your shoulders ,
I miss kissing your cheeks ,
I miss kissing your head.
I miss smiling,
I miss laughing.
I miss you kissing my hand
I miss your beautiful smell ,
I miss everything about you
I hate it when you weren't there for me , But thank you for the moments when you were there for me.
I wonder if I could get another chance,
but whats the difference?
you're going to end up hating me as always.
Time posted : 4:59 AM,
Told you I cant sleep.

I wish you care about me.

Forever Is Over.

Fucking assholes can suck my dick dry , Fags.
I havent slept in one fucking full week trying to make you that shit .
that shit costs ALOT.
Why the fuck are you yelling at me? .Fucking dick .
I dont know who the fuck I trust anymore ,
Family is nothing ,.
Thanks for being a dick all these years,
I'm not going to feel sorry for myself ,
Everything happens for a reason ,
I'll show you what i'm made of .
I can pull through .
I'm not a piece of shit.
I know I make disappoint lots of people ,
but I also made people very happy.
..



I know you ignore my messages ,
Oh fuck this shit .
I'm done with everything.

Someone Slap Me,

Dont count on me for anything ,
You were my shooting star , You faded away ,
Every tear is a sign for how much I love you
Every smile is a sign of how much I miss you
Every silence is a sign of how much I hate you
...
WOWOOWOW .
FUCKING FAGGOT,
Stupid drug addict . Hope you rot in hell ._."
Fuck my life, I still like you .
why the fuck do I still like you.
I dont give a fuck about what you do ,
You can go die at an early age for all I fucking care ,
I dont even know why the hell i'm still awake.
screw it ,
I'm still in love with you -_-.

ASDHSADIUHSDUASD,

You wanna know what kills me the most?
I dont know why I still like you.
I thought being back to strangers was better, but I guess not.
I wish I had enough courage to walk up to you and say what I want to say.
I wish you can see my emotions,
But you dont care at all,
If you cared you wouldve said no to being strangers,
I wish I could care less ,
I dont know why I still try when there is no point,
I wonder if you still care about me, even just a little.
You were the only one who cared about me,
I sent the last message hoping you would say something nice back,
I guess you dont care at all.
I had nothing else to write back.
Tell me if you care or not, because im going to just walk away.

Oh my...

I am messed up on the outside, as I am in the inside.
You told me that you'd never hurt me & that you love me.
Thats lies.
You smashed me into a million pieces & you hate me.
I hate how the only person who can make me smile is the one who made me cry.
All I've ever wanted to do was make you happy. That's it.
But sometimes you push me too hard, and I don't tell you that.
Why? Because I feel like just breathing disappoints you and that nothing I do will ever make you happy

Did you notice that since you broke up with me I have no emotion?
It's because I love you so much, it hurts just to see/hear about you
I'm tired of crying myself to sleep,
I'm tired of telling myself i'm ugly, invisible, everything that people dont want... I'm a mistake.
I'm tired of telling everyone i'm fine,
I'm sick of acting happy.
I dont give a fuck about anything anymore.
Everything hurts, Its sad to say that pain is not a new friend of mine.
All I need is someone to look in my eyes & say You're not a mistake & actually mean it.
but of course thats impossible.

--- Not going to blog for awhile.

Its the Answer to anything.

You dont give a fuck and neither do I
I'm glad to say that we're strangers.
You dont give a fuck about me, and never did
So why should I ?
People say things they dont mean ,
I meant everything I said.
Hopefully you did.
I wonder if you even cared about me at one point.
The feeling is lost in every single one of us ,
How could love hurt this bad, How could we lose all that we had,
.. Sometimes love cant make you stay.
Say what you need to say,
You were the one who made the world disappear .
Everything happens for a reason , Why cant I accept that already?
I'm just happy the hard way ,

Believe = Lie
Lover = Over
Friends = end
Life = If.

"Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save."

I'm stupid , useless , Cant do anything right
Difficult, ugly, incredibility retarded, boring
suck at everything.
I never ignore anyone who cares about me ,
I was in love , My bad ..
I dont know why I love and hate you ,
It seems like every step I take is a bigger and bigger mistake ,
It takes one second to hurt the people you love most , & it takes a lifetime to heal.
Dont judge me , you cant handle half the shit i've dealt with.
People change, We just have to let go.
When things go wrong, Appreciate them when they turn better,
People fall apart So thats why better people fall together .
Its not a matter of being alone, Its the matter of feeling lonely when you're surrounded by everyone.
I will not let my feelings be stepped on .
I didnt run away from you ,
I walked slowly & it kills me that you dont care enough to stop me.
The only thing i want from YOU is for YOU to STAY away ,
I'll smile even though i'm breaking.
When one door of happiness closes another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us..
Like birds, let us, leave behind what we don't need to carry ( cheesy I know . but stfu)
When true love & Happiness comes your way grab it while you can
I hate you for making me fall in love with you .
Strength is not how good you are , It is how good you could hide the pain.
Nothing hurts more then waiting since I don't even know what I'm waiting for anymore,Tears are words from the heart .. that can't be spoken
If you dont understand my silence you wont understand my word

Oh wow. Life is perfect

It feels just great to be called a mistake several times,
I'm starting to believe that
I dont fucking live to please anyone.
I dont give a fuck about anyone anymore,
Friends are slipping away,
I finally figured out who my true friends are.
I have nothing left in me,
I'm not going back to the past
You're a bitch & I dont give a fuck, continue messing up my life.

I'm tired of pleasing you,
Maybe I am a mistake,
I'm sorry for everything im not, I feel im invisible to everyone,
I hope everyone else is having a better time then me.
I feel hate everywhere I go ,
I dont belong to anyone or anywhere
The tears I try to hold in only makes me stronger
It feels GREAT to be forgotten

Find the person who will love you because of your differences and not in spite of them and you have found a lover for life.

True love is when your heart and your minds are saying the same thing.

Stop asking if im okay, I'm perfectly fine.
I hate that I have to lie to you,
You dont know whats going on, You dont care
If you still love me you would've called and said I love you and apologized.
I dont know why I cant get over you,
You probably found someone better,
You're amazing,Im not.

I've already died on the inside.
I am a mistake..
I'm just going to stop. :/

I'm Just Happy The Hard Way

I'm fine here without you .
The title says it all .
All I can see is a past that I barely recognize anymore .
It's funny the way you can get use to the tears and the pain like its nothing ,
I feel like i'm on a sinking ship .
I have nothing to write,
I'm starting not to give a shit anymore,
I need to stop re-reading our conversations.
Tell me what you cant say .

Germany better beat Spain .
Or else i'm going to chop your nuts off .

I'm perfectly fine. :)

I love how you showed me you dont care.
I took a chance and I fell for you .
I'm torn apart like hell .
I keep my promises ,
I promise you I'll get over you.
Tell me one thing ,
how can you move on so fast?
I'm guessing you have no heart..

Treat her like you never treated me,
If you dont want to share your feelings with anyone then dont get into a relationship,
Keep your feeling to yourself.
This feels like nothing new ,.
my heart broke into pieces. but i'm fine i'll fix it by myself.
I'm slowly moving on
Everything happens for a reason , so smile while the good things are in front of you .

Summer 2010.

I like how you act like nothing happened between us,
I like how you moved on so quickly
I liked how you were so different
I like how you dont know a clue of whats going on with me or my life
I hate that we know each other.
I hate that i cant sleep at night , because im busy thinking about you.
I like how you're always positive.
I'd give the world to you to make you happy.
I like how I risked my life by seeing you.
I hate that gut feeling, clenched teeth feeling.
I like how you lied,
I cant believe I bought your lies.
I love how i cant think straight.
I like how I cant breathe at night because i'm too stressed out.
I like how you walked away.
I LOVE how you've been filling up the empty space between us.
Treat the next girl right,
I like how i keep on refreshing my facebook page to see if you responded,
I like how you stopped asking if i'm awake yet,
I love how you stopped caring.
I like how you dont notice my feelings,
I love how I feel so invisible
I dislike how my family realizes that i'm changing.

Finally Moving Forward

I was afraid to fall for you ,
When I did I was afraid to get to know you .. When I did you held my heart.
Once you did.... you broke it after awhile, Thats alright because I'll get back up on my feet .
Now I miss you ,
I have no feelings for you .. You're just a stranger to me
Its just a huge ass hill. I'll get over it
Trust Is Like A Paper, Once It’s Crumpled it Can’t Be Perfect
you will find something better to play with instead of my heart..
whats the point in trying ?
I could write a million things I hate & love about you .

Maybe Its All For The Best

My mind is ready to move on but my heart keeps on telling me to wait for you to come back.
I'm guessing you'll never come back to me,
Every time I think about you I fall into pieces
Life shouldnt be called a game & the heart shouldnt be called a toy.
Its time for me to move on ,
I cant stay like this forever..
My mind has already moved on ,
My heart is about to move on... Soon i'll be fine again.
Thanks for everything,
my fear was losing you ,
it happened within a second...
Time to move forward..
I dont see any good in this mess

I'm perfectly fine , I'll get over it some day.
You got over me, now its time I do the same..
I keep hanging on,
I thought you were NOT going to hurt me, turns out you were like the others.
I was never mad at you , I was just disappointed .
Everything happens for a reason , The bad things in life just make us stronger ,
I've been fooled again .
I fall too fast, I'll keep my heart to myself, :|
I learn from my mistakes, Hopefully I dont put my heart out there ever again.
I'm not over reacting or taking it too hard ,.
Its not my fault I care, My bad. I'll start not giving a fuck ,
This feels like its nothing new ,
I just havent felt this way in awhile..
Stop building me up then breaking me down ,
tell me why you're so hard to forget
dont remind me, im not over it tell me why
i cant seem to face the truth
im just a little too not over you.
sometimes people aren't sure of their feelings
they like the attention the person gives them, not the actual person
everyone just wants someone to want them .
It you want to leave , be my guest.. Just leave now before I fall for you over and over again.
If I could go back now I would not change a thing.